Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
