you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
is it fun? or sober?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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