Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
