he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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