he wants to bone in the snuggie
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
