What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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