It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
