so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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