1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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