i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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