yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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