I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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