I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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