Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
