So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
