I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I need moral support for this bender
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
