I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
