Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
