I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
