using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
