Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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