omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
