I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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