This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
