hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We got so high we made milksteak
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
