Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
