I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
