he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
