Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
