Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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