the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
