just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
