just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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