if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
