Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
