She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
