When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
