Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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