wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize