Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
