Got a toothbrush?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
