I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
