were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
