Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize