i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
