Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
