we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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