sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize