so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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