I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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