question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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