What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
