I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
