It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
