so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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