I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
