But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize