when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
