Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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