Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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