First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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