Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
