There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
