Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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