Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I looked at my own cervix.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
