quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
