you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
