so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
